Our work starts with an in-depth relationship assessment that takes place over the first four sessions. This assessment includes written questionnaires completed by both partners along with a series of clinical interviews. The first interview takes place with the two of you together. After that, each partner meets with the therapist individually to provide more context to their perspectives. During these sessions we collect detailed information about the strengths and challenges facing your relationship. We bring all this data together to formulate a customized treatment plan. Clients love this process because it is efficient, targeted, and illuminating.

Together we will identify the specific types of conflicts you experience in your relationship. We will practice skills and interventions to navigate these conflicts in therapy sessions so you gain the confidence to apply them outside of therapy. We are challenging old communication patterns to bring deeper trust and understanding into your dialogues. Conflict resolution does not always mean agreement. But opportunities for connection, compromise, and repair can take place even when you and your partner do not see eye to eye.

What does an attempt to repair a conflict look like for you and your partner? Does your partner notice your repair attempts? Do you notice theirs? How do they resonate? What would it be like to feel heard in your relationship? What would it be like to feel safe taking accountability for your behavior without worrying that you are conceding too much? We can build these skills so you and your partner can make meaningful repair attempts when conflicts emerge.

Fighting is stressful. Research shows that in times of anger or stress, our cognitive abilities decline. If we become too dysregulated, we are not in a good place to have a meaningful conversation about what went wrong. Learning how to take a pause and self regulate is a powerful tool for dealing with conflict. You and your partner can return to your argument from a regulated state, when cognitive abilities are at their peak, and listen to each other with curiosity and compassion.

The Gottmans discovered the four behaviors in marriage conflicts that most accurately predict divorce. I will teach you to recognize these behaviors in your relationship, bring them to your attention when I see them during sessions, and offer you antidotes to try instead. This is how we break patterns and set your relationship up for success.

Recall the dreams you had for your relationship with your partner when you first fell in love. Perhaps they got lost with the passage of time. What would it be like to reconnect with those dreams? Together we will identify the unfulfilled dreams you and your partner are holding. We will honor these lost parts of yourselves by exploring how to support you both individually and as a couple in pursuing these dreams. This process can build deep trust and friendship.