Turning to AI for human needs
Humans are increasingly looking to artificial intelligence (AI) to replace other humans in their lives. In some cases, AI appears to be doing the job all too well.
It starts with good intentions. You have too much data to process at work, or you want to write an angry email while sounding calm and reasoned. AI offers a quick fix, and you enjoy a little dopamine boost from your newfound superpower. At meetings you gently suggest, “I wonder if AI can help us here?” You are commended for your ingenuity while the silent critics ask themselves with slight disgust if they are growing too old for this gig.
That is the gateway. Next you find yourself turning to AI for grocery lists, recipes, travel planning, managing your to-do list, workout routines, home design, health concerns. Somehow you managed these tasks in your prior life, but AI solutions appear seamless. You use AI to draft texts to your partner, sister, mother-in-law. These dialogues feel vaguely uncomfortable and AI provides a balm, removing friction with its balanced tone.
It does not end there. Recent articles show a growing trend of turning to AI to provide spiritual affirmations (see People are Losing Loved Ones to AI-Fueled Spiritual Fantasies by Miles Klee, The Rolling Stone, May 4, 2025), therapy (see This Therapist Helped Clients Feel Better. It was A.I. by Teddy Rosenbluth, The New York Times, April 15, 2025), and even love and sex (see She Fell in Love with ChatGPT. Like, Actual Love. With Sex, hosted by Natalie Kitroeff, The New York Times, Feb. 25, 2025).
What makes AI so appealing? What makes it scratch such a deep emotional itch? Why are we willing to suspend our disbelief and elevate the outputs of a computer program to these heights?
As humans, we all need love, validation, and affirmation to varying degrees. When we seek these needs from other humans, we run against their human limitations, triggers, and unhealed wounds. This is the messy and beautiful part of relationships. We are never quite sure what goes on in another person’s mind; we face limits to how well we can understand and be understood.
AI has no self. When corresponding with us, AI is not limited by its own baggage. AI can offer unconditional support without compromising its values or needs. AI asks nothing of us in return for its presence. This is what makes it appealing, but also where it falters.
The increased trend in seeking AI to fill emotional roles speaks not to the strengths of AI but to the isolating conditions of modern society. Mark Zuckerberg may think we can all get by with just a few AI friends and an AI therapist (see Friends without benefits by Amanda Hoover, Business Insider, May 5, 2025), but human connection is irreplaceable. In therapy, research shows that the attuned relationship between the client and therapist is the most important factor in successful treatment. AI is not capable of attunement because it has no nervous system. In screening for a therapist, that should be a bare minimum qualification.
(If it sounds like AI wrote this article, I promise you, it’s just me).
